Played dress up yesterday.. Boy do I wish I had nice clothes.. Maybe I’ll look like this again sometime soon.
I’ve got so much to say; I don’t know where to begin!
Well, I suppose I can start saying that I made the Varsity Softball team!! I am so proud of myself. Tryouts have been all week and I’ve definitely tried my hardest. My hardest still isn’t nearly as good as most of the team but, nevertheless, our coach put me on the varsity team. I’m actually just pumped that I made it because I get to be on a team with some really great girls.
I actually love softball. It’s such a fun sport. I even find myself enjoying the practices! Today was our first official day of varsity practice. We went down to park street to practice at the park. Real early in, it started to snow. The snow ranged from small little flakes to big wet ones! I honestly didn’t care. Believe it or not, I was excited! I got really pumped up and caught two high balls in a row which made me even more pumped. Luckily I had sweatpants and a sweatshirt, otherwise I would’ve been freezing like Putnam or some of the other girls.
Anyways, there will be practice everyday and games and such. I’m so excited to play my first season of softball. I seriously hope there are sports next year because I would love to continue this. Well, there’s no use in worrying about that night! Good night everybody :) - March 9, 2012
and people say its bad to nap HAHA scientific proof
And.. I nap anywhere from 2 seconds to 2 hours..
Beginning with a smile, ending with a bruised heart.
Rj and I met by chance at the Great Escape. We were best friends for three years. Rj got a girlfriend named Cait. She freaked out because I was texting him and, because she’s so controlling, told him to stop texting me. We basically ended our friendship in October. In December, however, he texted me. At that point, I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him for more than a few texts. So that was that.
A couple of days ago, I decided to text him. We exchanged a few texts. He even said he was glad to be part of my contacts again. I then tested him yesterday. Lo and behold it was his girlfriend that replied on his phone. She asked how long we’d been texting and then, being the two faced cunt that she is, decided to once again freak out, call me names, and tell me not to text Rj. I figured, due to the previous day’s conversation, that he didn’t feel the same. But I guess I was wrong. I guess he’s easily manipulated. I guess he just isn’t the kid I knew. He ended up calling me and leaving me two voicemails. In them, he told me not to talk to him while cruelly slinging vulgar names at me. Afterward, I sent him and his girlfriend an extremely long text pointing out their immaturity, their inability to handle situations with couth, and their faults in what they’ve said to me. She then replied saying that Rj said to me that he didn’t want to talk to me and all this other shit. Lucky for her, I don’t delete my texts. I took screen shots of the small conversation of the previous day and sent them to her. I proved that he was glad to talk to me and that he would text me later. She said she was hurt and tried to once again be nice about shit saying that she was sorry for all of the things she said to me, including when she attempted to bitch me out months ago, and that she just wanted to end everything now, stop texting me, and have me never text Rj. I told her she does not, nor will she ever, deserve my sympathy. She deserves to be “hurt” with the controlling bullshit she pulls over Rj. I continued to point out that their relationship has little trust. I took shots at their immaturity and just owned the shit out of her, once again.
One thing about me: I may be smarter than you. If I’m not, I can still make it look that way. I’m not saying that with an arrogant connotation but if you try to insult me through texting, I will make you seem like a complete idiot. I’m awfully good at exploiting one’s ignorance. I rarely do so but when somebody decides to attack me, they’ve got no chance.
Anyways, it astounds me how much Rj has changed. He used to be this sweet boy who was always there for me. He was there when I fought with my family. He was there when I would drink and go out. He was there when I needed to laugh. He was there when I needed to cry. . I always tried to be there for him as much as he was there for me.. We talked about everything from sex and love to the future and our plans. We always said that when we were older and could drive that we’d have a chance. I guess things don’t go as planned.
i’m not sure why it hurts so bad. Maybe it’s because I always thought it was his girlfriend who told him to say he didn’t want to talk to me.. But hearing him say what he said.. I want to cry. He was my best friend and now he hates me.. because of some dumb girl who doesn’t realize that two people can be just friends. It’s changing how I feel about everything right now.. I just want to talk with Rj, without him being under the influence of his girlfriend. If he still says that he hates me and doesn’t want my friendship, than so be it. I just want to talk to him.. but I can’t.
For now, it’s over.
A side note
And for those of you that know me personally, know who I am; for those that see me at school or just my posts on facebook, do me a favor and don’t think of my weaknesses when you see me. Right now I’m realizing just how much I actually put into my tumblr posts and how somebody I never talk to in school may know more about me than my best friend. I don’t want to say it’s a privilege to read this because I know you probably don’t care that much to hear all of this, but I just hope that those of you who do know me don’t take advantage of what I share. I hope that you would never insult me, to my face or to someone else’s, due to what I’ve written. If you disagree with my opinion about something, then disagree. If you find out that I’ve done something that I probably would have never shared with you, or possibly anyone in person, don’t dwell on it. You’re more than welcome to change your opinion of me based on what you read but I hope it only changes because you may know more about me, why I do things, and not just that I’ve done them. This is how I look at those I know. I try not judge on superficial aspects of a person’s life and I believe that’s how it should be. You don’t know where someone’s been or where they’re heading, what they’ve gone through or what’s still coming. Give every person a chance before you form an opinion based on clothes, what you’ve heard, where somebody lives, or just one sticky situation they may have gotten themselves into. I’m sure you’ve got your obstacles to overcome so just remember that you’re not the only one.
Dreams can be incredibly sad.
I’m not talking about your hopes for the future, what you want to accomplish, or your “one day” idle thoughts. I’m talking about the dreams that you have every night, the ones you can’t control, the ones that come out of your subconscious. Some people may wish to remember every single dream they have, every detail, but I don’t always wish that were true. I have very vivid dreams. By saying this I mean that often times they seem so real that it takes me a minute or two to distinguish dream from reality. And I often find reality disappoints me in some way because my dream was able to give me what I wanted when reality could not. Now, I don’t know how many of you have siblings that are in college, recently left the house, or something of the sort and I don’t know how many of you were extremely close to that sibling or not but I do know that when they leave, it’s terrible. For me, it is worse than I expected it to be because me and my brother were never particularly close so I figured it wouldn’t be awful but it is. The other night I dreamt that Luke had come home. He was sitting in the chair in my living room in his civilian clothes, shorts and a sweatshirt. I asked him what he was doing there and he said that he was in Amsterdam for some reason so he came here. He said he was only home for the night or something like that. When he said that, I remember I stared at him, realized he was home, and swept in for a hug. I don’t really remember after that. Once I woke up, reality hit. Luke wasn’t home, he won’t be home, this isn’t his home anymore. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to deal with him gone. He’s alive, doing well, happy, and starting his life. I couldn’t be more proud of him. But some part of me, most of me actually, just wishes he was still here, in Fonda, going to high school. His leaving made me realize just how bad I am with change. And this, too, scares me. It scares me of my own future.
So today is Friday the 13th…
And this morning certainly felt like it. To start, I had to recycle second period today for student government. It was all fine and dandy until we had to dump the container. It was like a freakin blizzard outside! The snow flakes were ginormous, the wind was terrible, the ground was covered in wet snow and it was just cold! So we were outside for at least ten minutes the first time dumping it. We ended up dropping the blue thing into the recycling thing so ashley and bradley had to climb in and get it. After that, we went back inside, wet and cold, to finish up the senior hallway and such. Then we had to go outside AGAIN. That wasn’t fun. I have TOMS shoes so they’re like pure canvas and were soaked. And due to the fact that I don’t wear socks, when they get wet they stink terribly. I ended up walking around my AP Bio class barefoot until lab when my teacher went into the next room and stole some soccer socks. They were quite warm but unfortunately not that fashionable. I had em pulled up right over my jeans. I got so many weird looks but that’s alright, I’m Meg Foy. Oh, and I dropped my folder in bio because of the stupid small desks and now I have to reorganize like 4 chapters of papers.
The rest of my day wasn’t that bad though. Fifth period was slinky day in physics!! We went out into the hall and made waves with a wicked long spring. We got interrupted at first because it was a lunch period so we had to let everybody by. But after that I got to be one of the people at the end of the spring that made the waves. That was actually pretty cool but the slinky was even better! It was wicked long. Me and eel were the ones making the waves and it just looked so sick. That was a ton of fun.
Unfortunately, I fell asleep a little in sixth period history but that was during a movie so
I don’t care as much. That class went good but because I slept my contacts got dry. I almost lost my left one! But mrs. palmers a sweetheart and had some contact solution :p. Then seventh period was lunch study hall and lunch. I had to go freakin recycle another box because the middle school missed the computer lab. After that, I had a good lunch, took a baby nap in English, went to math, got my homework done, and now I’m home. I’m gonna go do some cardio and then see Nick. I should have a good night.
Everybody: Enjoy your weekend. Be safe and make smart decisions ;)
